My eyes and my heart are so swollen.
Memphis died in my arms last night at 1:20 am as I cradled her head in the crook of my arm and whispered in her ear while tears streamed down my cheeks. I wish I could say she simply fell asleep and was gone, but it was not that easy. I will spare you the details, just know it was a damn tough night.
We couldn’t fathom wrapping her up and leaving her in the garage until morning when we could take her to the vet. It’s too cold out. So we took her to the 24-hour vet for cremation services at 2 am as the snow fell around us.
The photo above is one of my favorite shots of her. I took it in 2003 when she was 15 weeks old. Many of you didn’t know me before Memphis and Merlin, but at the time we had just put down our first dog Maudee (a sweet and neurotic Sheltie). We couldn’t stand the thought of being in the house that weekend, so we took Memphis to her first cabin/lake trip. Do you see how blissed out she was? We were remembering last night how afraid of the water she was back then, and how funny that is to us now.
If you see me today or tomorrow (I will be heading into the office etc), please do not bring up Memphis or how sorry you are. I know your intentions are good, but I’m afraid I’ll dissolve into a giant puddle of tears in the middle of the newsroom. Holding it together is so dang tough right now.
And I can’t end the blog post like this. I’m so sorry to be such a downer… why don’t we instead remember the huge spirit that this girl had and how much she loved getting in trouble. You can re-read one of my favorite Memphis stories here.