You guys! My ankles have returned! My feet are still a *touch* swollen up around my toes, but barely. I’ll take it! This 40-degree weather in September has been bliss over here at Shuttersmack HQ, and I have my ankles back to prove it.
Can you tell I’m excited? Who ever thought a photo of my bare feet would be acceptable blog fodder? Trust me. This is a big deal.
So, this post is gonna be a little bit pregnancy focused. If that’s not your thing, I totally get it. Go on, head over to Vulture and find something else to read. I don’t blame you. But since today I am officially 40 weeks pregnant and fully cooked and ready to go, I thought today would be the day to talk just a little bit about being knocked up.
• First off, do you know how hard it was to touch up my nail polish in that photo up there? When your belly reaches this size, it takes near pornographic positions to reach your toes. And you have to hold your breath while doing so. It’s really a sight to behold, I promise (but the polish looks nice, eh?).
• Second, no. Obviously, I have not given birth yet. If you call/text/email me after this blog post is posted asking me where the baby is, I am writing down your name and number for a free night of baby sitting once the kid starts teething. I WILL LET YOU KNOW WHEN THE BABY IS HERE.
• Third, let’s not get our undies in a bunch about the kid’s arrival until Sunday, eh? Tonight is a stellar Northern Lights display that I would love to drive out to the country and witness, and tomorrow The Replacements are here (remember??). So really. Take a deep breath. I promise the kid will come.
• Fourth, can you even imagine the first woman on the planet to ever be pregnant? WHAT MUST SHE HAVE THOUGHT? This question has come back to me over and over and over again during this wild and crazy science experiment. Like, did she think she had the world’s largest parasite? (Answer: Yes.) Did she think she was gonna die? She probably did! Did she wonder what on earth she did to deserve this punishment? Did she wonder WHY ALL THIS HEARTBURN? Was the creature going to come out of her MOUTH? I just think she must have been worried sick.
• Fifth, Jamie and I started a list last night of all the “classic” movies that we are gonna force our kid to watch on family movie nights so he/she will be a well-rounded, educated and funny person. So far, the list has greats like: Ferris Bueller, The Goonies, E.T., Star Wars etc etc etc. Oh, and we have some for when the kid is super little as well, like Jaws (ha! kidding!). No really, like Disney’s original Robin Hood. So can you leave other ideas in the comments please? I think that would be fun.
Lastly, how about we revisit that awesome Replacements show from last year as our internet share of the day! CAN YOU TELL I’M EXCITED?! Also, I loved these photos of historical moments, but from different angles. And I want this t-shirt. I would also buy one for my grandmother, but there is nothing silent about her corrections. :)